Weight: 215.4lbs
Motivation: Ehh...
Energy: Ehh...
So, it’s been ages since I vowed to show the world just how wrong it is about me, that I can eat right, exercise, and otherwise make significant changes to my lifestyle and my weight.
Fat chance. Emphasis on “fat”.
While I’m not much heavier than I have been recently, I can feel that I’m carrying the weight differently. It’s all up front and in the middle, rather than spread out (or somewhere handy, like my boobs). I know my eating habits haven’t been all that great, and I won’t even begin to blame that on the holidays. My exercise habits have been even more pathetic- I’ve worked out once in 2-3 months, and that was this past weekend: I took the Zumba class at the Y that’s offered on Saturday mornings. I’m there anyway every Saturday, so why not?
My gods, I wanted to die about 15 minutes into the class. I pushed myself another 15 minutes. And another 15 minutes. And then I really did have to wuss out and quit.
So, a 60min dance/movement class, and I couldn’t last. And did I mention how I failed climbing up several flights of stairs on my way to a concert? That was the real kick in the butt to want to do something about the weight. A year ago, I was in slightly better shape; less than a year ago I was in significantly better shape, if not size. Now I am the fat lumpy potato woman I never wanted to be.
I feel I’ve become my mother, minus the drinking and smoking. But here I am, morbidly obese, possibly staring Type 2 diabetes in the eye, waiting for joints and bones to crumble and grind to a halt. My mother was in her 40s when she had both knees replaced- am I doomed to the same fate? What can I do to change it- besides WANT to change?
So I’ve gone and done something to prove I’m a consummate failure: I’ve entered a mini-contest with some friends. Basically, we are required to at least maintain our current weight through the holiday season; even better if one loses. There is a cash prize at the end of the contest, but I will no doubt never see it. Still, there it is, on the table and the internet- I am the biggest loser, but not The Biggest Loser.
